Because I got shit for ordering a pizza....

...now you little bastards get to see the time and effort put into a pizza. I mean a GOOD pizza.

First, the sauce. Sure you can buy jarred- but then some Italian friend will look down on you and hit you in the ass with a spoon (I know this sounds racist, but it really has happened to me *ahem* Vincent)

The one thing I don't mind buying canned is tomatoes. These are actually more flavorful than the whole tomatoes you find in the grocery store(like San Marzanos for instance). If you want to be super dorky, grow your own roma tomatoes, I mean why not add months to the effort?! You got time, right?!

• 4 oz salt pork, or bacon (or olive oil si vous preferez)
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 large carrot, diced**
• 4 qts(128oz) tomatoes canned or fresh
• 2 qts (64oz) tomato puree
• A sachet containing: 2 garlic cloves, 1 bay leaf, 1/4 tsp dried rosemary, 1/4 tsp oregano, 1/4 tsp peppercorns, crushed
• Salt and sugar to taste

Render the salt pork over a med low heat. Add your onions and carrots and cook until the onions are translucent. You can brown them if you want, it adds more flavor, but just don't brown them too much- this sauce cooks for a long time.

Add the tomatoes and their juices, the puree, and the sachet. Bring to a boil, then turn down the heat and simmer for a couple hours. This sauce likes to burn so be careful. You could toss it in a 300F oven to avoid this.
You can strain the sauce or run it through a food mill or food processor or just leave it be. Taste and add salt and sugar as you desire.


**Before you attempt to dice the carrot break it down into two inch pieces before dicing, and make sure you flatten out a side before cutting!


Or option Two! (if you want to be a lazy asshole)

3 oz shallots chopped fine
6 garlic cloves chopped fine
1/4 c olive oil
1 lb 8oz fresh tomatoes chopped fine
salt and pepper to taste

1. Sweat shallots and garlic in olive oil. That means cook over a low heat and do not brown.
2. Add tomatoes and cook until thickened.
3. Season.