Goat Cheese

It was culinary school that did it.

I swear I never touched the stuff before then.

And then Garde Manger class happened.

Oh, it happened innocuously enough when my pal Jared suggested we add some to a spinach salad.

You bastard. 

Goat cheese is tangy, slightly salty, and delightfully creamy with a nice crumble.  Ask anyone who I've made spinach salad for how great it goes with a bacon mustard vinaigrette.

Goat Cheese and I met again, in my wine tasting class. This is where goat cheese, dark chocolate, and dried cherries met.  I know it sounds weird...but trust me. Goat cheese and balsamic vinaigrette is pretty awesome too.

Goat Cheese and I will be together forever. No matter how kinky it gets.

It's been a long time, old blog. I can't say that I have been up to much other than parenting and existential crisis (I can do both!). After a few months after my Christmas job, I found another one. I work for a specialty market. I like it for the most part.  To say that I don't look at the prep tables for the bakery, meat, and deli departments longingly would be a lie.

I miss cooking so much. But I feel like I just wouldn't be any good if I ever did get a cooking job.  I know I said I was over getting fired from the cafe, but I think sometimes it still gets to me.  I can't give the work the time and energy that I want to.

 I haven't even baked at home in a long time.

I think my bread flour misses me.

Cabbage makes me think of Christmas

Well...yeah. I was just trying to be clever. But I've been meaning to put up this recipe just because I love it so much because it involves cabbage, bacon, and potato. I'm also dedicating it to my hetero-life mate Jill.

• 2 1/2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cubed
• 4 slices bacon
• 1/2 small head cabbage, chopped
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup milk
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1/4 cup butter, melted

Directions

1. Place potatoes in a saucepan with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, until tender.
2. Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, reserving drippings, crumble and set aside. In the reserved drippings, saute the cabbage and onion until soft and translucent. Putting a lid on the pan helps the vegetables cook faster.
3. Drain the cooked potatoes, mash with milk and season with salt and pepper. Fold in the bacon, cabbage, and onions, then transfer the mixture to a large serving bowl. Make a well in the center, and pour in the melted butter. Serve immediately.

WOW!3 steps! Just remember when you boil your potatoes to start them in cold water. Otherwise this is a pretty solid recipe. Have nice new year everyone!

Soooooo Pathetic!!

Alright, well the good news is that I have officially gotten over myself.  I like my part time non-cooking seasonal job just fine. So since it's chilly and autumn-y where I am and I'm currently eating it- here's a little recipe for broccoli cheese soup: The recipe came from here and is pretty much how I make it, but because I'm an elitist chef-type I don't really write down measurements (sorry).

• 3/4 cup butter
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 9 cups chicken stock
• 9 cups milk
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons white pepper White pepper sucks. It smells and tastes like a subway tunnel. Use black. No one cares if you see it in the soup.
• 5 cups fresh broccoli florets
• 1 1/2 pounds processed cheese, shredded (okay, FUCK THIS USE REAL CHEESE or we can't be friends. Try a smoked gouda it's yummy and melty.)
• 3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese

1. Melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat, and mix in the flour. Reduce heat to low, and cook, stirring constantly, about 2 minutes. Mix in the chicken stock and milk (Do yourself a favor, heat these up first especially the milk it will save you a TON of time on bringing it back up to a boil) about 2 cups at a time mix with a whisk so it doesn't get lumpy, and season with salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer about 10 minutes.
2. Bring a pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Place the broccoli in the boiling water, and cook 2 minutes, or until just tender. Remove from heat, drain, and set aside.
3. Gradually mix the processed cheese smoked Gouda (or other actual cheese that you like) and Cheddar cheese into the large pot until melted. Mix in the broccoli. Continue cooking about 5 minutes.

There ya go. I love ya.

*Warning* This is a bitch post. Bitching will occur.

I know, I know I haven't posted any real recipes for a while. I just really haven't had the gumption, and I'm sorry. Here's a quick recap: In August, my kids, husband, and mother in law went to Disney. I had a great time despite being in Florida in August where there's no breeze and about 3000% humidity.  In September I was struggling through my own schooling while getting all three of my kids off to their various schools (which is still going on)....and then October happened. At the end of September I was offered a nice little job, significantly closer to where I live, another person to actually work with, and allegedly tons of creative control. So I reluctantly left my happy little basement at the convent for a corporate cafe....and then got fired after two weeks.  If it's any consolation to you, the owner of the cafe couldn't apologize enough to the point where I felt bad for her/him.

I'm not going to lie, I kind of saw it coming. I will also admit I was in a little over my head, it was just different gears from the convent to the cafe and I guess I just could adjust fast enough. I did a significant amount of crying (an afternoon's worth) before I got fired. Which I suppose is for the best so I didn't make a scene at the cafe.  I cried mostly because at this stage in my life I was/am just tired of hearing the same thing about my work performance over and over and over again. I don't know what to tell you. When I get nervous I instantly forget everything I know and become stunningly incompetent, so starting a new job can be a little rocky for me. But I can and have turned it around. I just was not given the opportunity to at this point. The food business is more urgent a beast than I could ever hope to tame.

I know you're probably saying "Fired only after two weeks? That isn't enough time to decide whether someone sucks or not!" I tend to agree. But hey, I was costing the owner money sooo...
(And sadly no, I can't go back to the convent, but I do have a new non-cooking job, so I won't starve).

Not gonna lie: Getting fired (and I have been fired before) this time around just took my self esteem, threw it in a bathtub full of ice, and stole its kidneys. I thought I was fine. I thought I was over it, but I'm not. I am so not. Not angry at why I was fired but what the firing did to me. I really thought I had left behind all doubt as to what to do with my life when I got my diploma, not so.

I am an optimist, I am. So feeling so depressed and hopeless and utterly useless is not something I like spending time doing.  Lying on my couch and staring at the TV while there are dishes and laundry and vacuuming to be done just makes me feel even more useless. So, while I am trying my best to get back to the optimistic me, the depressed me still seems to be in charge. I will get over it. I will I will I will I will.  I know there is a brilliant cook still in there who will make enough money to hire a housekeeper and that dog I've been wanting for some time now.

 I really feel like I should have gone through this existential bullshit in my 20s. Maybe self-doubt never goes away, not matter how old you are- but if you're lucky you can take your self doubt and transform it into something that will propel you forward in life.  I will do the same. I will. I will. I will.

A jaunty little piece about working in a kitchen...

This was also for school, but I liked it so much I put it here. Enjoy.

Life in the Culinary Industry

When any of us decide to pursue a culinary career the only thing we think about is making great food. Even just setting foot into a culinary school I had no idea just the amount of stress you put on yourself to make decent food.  Another thing we don’t really think about is the physical aspect of this job. There is standing yes, but there is also running, cutting, lifting, cleaning, all while in a sweltering kitchen for 12-14 hours a day- on top of all of the noise and stress it’s a wonder anyone stays sane at this job at all.

I do believe you need to have a certain frame of mind when cooking for a restaurant.  People don’t want their food now, they want it RIGHT NOW, and it better be perfect while you’re at it too! You must really love adventure and adrenaline, heat and close quarters. If you are lucky you have a great team of equally insane people to back you up and get you through the very long day/night.

           

There are also many hazards to be considered while working in a kitchen. As I always put it: We work with knives and fire. If you are like me, you like a sharp knife…a really sharp knife. Sometimes we forget to keep our boards dry, and bam! A slip of the knife, and say bye-bye to your fingertip! Lucky for us though, we learn how to properly dress a deep cut after about two gashes or so.  The same goes for burns. How many times have we grabbed a pot that’s been over high heat with our bare hands? Or reached into the convection oven and grave our forearm on the grates? It’s dangerous stuff!

On the more subtle side of working in a kitchen: being on your feet. Even if it isn’t crazy in your kitchen, you still have to stand up. All day. Of course you do build up a tolerance to it to some degree, but after about ten years or so, your knees and ankles (and lower back) will remind you just how precious sitting actually is. Make sure you buy really good shoes and socks with support. They aren’t glamorous, but they will save you a world of pain.

Let’s get to the real heart of the matter: you. So you manage to avoid the slings and arrows of your work day. What’s left? Time at work is time away from friends and family.  A lot of us become part of a “work family” and hang out with our coworkers after work.

After a long day, you come home to your spouse and maybe your kids (who missed you!) and your responsibilities at home. Even with all the stress at work, it doesn’t make the things you need to do and the people you need to care for go away. It can be tough, and I highly recommend making the most of your time off (which also is hard to come by especially during the holidays). Saying goodbye to your weekends and holidays is probably the most difficult part of our jobs. Even taking time off can be difficult because you feel like you are letting your work family down. In order to avoid getting burnt out, take time off and bask in the glow of taking a moment for you. You’ll come back to work refreshed and even more capable to deal with the whirlwind of fire and knives and food.

Swimming upstream

You know, I work part-time in the basement of a convent. I make decent money, make decent food, but there are days when I go "I paid 40,000 bucks to make hot dogs?" That's on my more tired days. Yes, I do make hot dogs on Saturdays, but its an old New England tradition to have Franks and Beans on Saturdays, and my sisters (nuns) love these simple dishes.

Today for instance, is the day I make Grilled Cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. One of the sisters came in and said "Did you make our favorite?" I can't help but smile, they live so simply and little things like that make them so happy (at least the sisters at my convent anyway).

But you know, I did spend a lot on my education. I should probably be working at Menton or the French Laundry or something. I have a few friends that do work at really fancy places. I have one that complains that what he cooks isn't worthy of his degree. He works at an outside bar attached to a very wonderful and posh restaurant on a beach making things like lobster rolls and nachos. I have come to this conclusion: Maybe we shouldn't worry so much  about what we're cooking, so long as we're cooking it well. Respecting the food we cook is the basic tenet of being a chef (that and never try to catch a falling knife).

I need to say this: Molecular Gastronomy is a fad. Yeah, it is pretty cool that you can make "caviar" out of any liquid (like pureed cantaloupe) with a few chemicals and  rubber tubing.  Then you get to pay 33 bucks for four cantaloupe pearls in some kind of sauce with a sprinkling of mache. Wow, I might need a doggy bag! Let me loosen my belt.

Please don't misunderstand me: there are people in this world who take food to magnificent level via Molecular gastronomy. It just will never be me. I will stay with my regular old cooking skills thanks. You can always try to persuade me otherwise.