Alrighty. So your have you knife and your cutting board with a damp towel underneath so it doesn't slide around while you're cutting with your supah-shaahp knife dude. Okay. Do you have your tomato? Wash it. Dry it.
Think of the tomato as the planet Earth with a north pole and a south pole. The top of the tomato where it was connected to the plant(known as the 'blossom end') is the north pole. Slice (keeping your friggin fingers on your non-knife using hand tucked back) the north pole and then the south pole off.
Flip your topless tomato onto its cut, and therefore flat side. This is one of those times where you should listen: A tomato is round, yes? Round things like to roll, yes? Rolling things+sharp knives+squishy, easily cut flesh=BAD. Now, slice that sucker in half one more time. You have to halves of your tomato. Good for you. You should call your mom and tell her all about it. I'm sure she'll totally care.
Put one of your tomato halves to the side. Alrighty, now, with your FLAT side on your cutting board. Slowly and carefully (with your palm gently placed on the rounded side, and your thumb tucked in) slice from the north pole to the south pole( i.e. vertically) in about 1/4" slices. A 1/4" is about the width of your pinky nail. About three slices should be good.
If your knife is sharp, and you are being careful, this should be an easy process. If your knife isn't that sharp and you're fighting to cut through tomato skin (which is sad, really) you may slip and sever a tendon in your forearm, which is something we'd like to avoid, right?
Okay good. Now Trying your best to stay at 1/4", slice horizontally (fingers tucked the hell in, I can't stress this shit enough) probably about six slices should do ya, depending on the size of your tomato. OMFG, you just diced a tomato muthableepah!
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